| The Aftermath...dundundund |
[12 Sep 2005|05:33pm] |
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Switchfoot - (I don't know the name of the some) Issues?? |
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Today was good. It was kind of sad because the school was abuzz with talk of the musical. I'm not too upset anymore, but I was pissed because the one person that I didn't want to get the lead GOT IT. But she also shares the lead with a friend of mine who totally deserves it. Now I definetely need to find a job. It sounds weird, but I love being busy. I love never being home and I love always having stuff to do, so getting a job will be good for me. Last night I felt totally worthless. I applied for three jobs, didn't get any. Can't get into the musical, can't get a job, I can't even read the Scarlet Letter without wanting to kill myself.
I feel a lot better now. I was sulking at about 11:00PM in bed and couldn't fall asleep. So I turned on Dawson McCallister Live and listened to him talk to other people. It got my mind of of things so I could fall asleep. It just reminded me of how worse I could have it. If you don't listen to that show, it's from 10PM - midnight central time on sunday nights. I listen to it sometimes. It's kind of cool. Some people are totally screwed up though. Like last night there was this guy that got raped by a guy in the Navy, and he's stationed with this guy on a ship on the atlantic coast, and has to deal with him everyday. He told his commanding officers, and the guy was punished by being thrown in the brig for like 2 months, but now he's out and about on this ship and faces no criminal charges, just possible discharge from the Navy. That's pretty sad. It just shows how our military and government likes to keep things hush hush.
There's a new girl at school. Robyn introduced us to her. She hung out with us at lunch. She seems sweet. Our 'group' always befriends the new kids, but they end up leaving us for 'cooler' people. Matt (moved) Victor (moved) Ben *little ben* (left us) Ben *"Johnny Bravo ben"*(left us) Now Emily. Hopefully she'll stick around.
I haven't bitten my nails in 8 days. Yeah.
I learned how to say 'yeah' in French today. Ouais. Not Oui, but Ouais. hahaha.
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[11 Sep 2005|08:16pm] |
Uh. I should probably tell you that I'm going to start using my other livejournal account. For some reason, this name really annoys me now.
dreamsreality.
I don't know why, but it sounded like a good idea when I was 12.
Not so much right now.
Bye.
:-D ----![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) sevle
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| hahahahhaaaaa |
[10 Sep 2005|10:14pm] |
karelessXwhisper: yes. new subject indeed. my arm itches.
rawkin CHiK: OMG!! mine did and i scratched it and now its bleeding!!!
karelessXwhisper: AH!
karelessXwhisper: everyone's bleeding today!
rawkin CHiK: lol i know i felt so sorry for that little old man
karelessXwhisper: what?!
karelessXwhisper: OH MYLANTA TIMES ABOUT A BILLION AND THREE!!!!!!
rawkin CHiK: that old man taking down his tent next to us?
rawkin CHiK: he cut his finger
rawkin CHiK: and was bleeding pretty badly
rawkin CHiK: and had to be taken to the hospital
rawkin CHiK: and ended up going into shock
rawkin CHiK: and then he died
karelessXwhisper: THAT NEVER HAPPENED!
rawkin CHiK: no it really did, except he didn't go the hospital or die
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[10 Sep 2005|07:26pm] |
After handing out water, Ashley and I went to the school to see if Mr. G posted the casting. He had told ashley that he would about 1:00 PM on saturday, (today) He didn't, instead he posted a note saying, "Casting will be posted Sunday at 6:00 PM"
But I have actually gained confindence over talking to other fellow auditioners. Two people that I know of weren't even allowed to sing the whole audition song (which is like 30 seconds) They were stopped halfway through. I atleast got to sing the whole song, so my confidence is boosted. Also, people said that not as many people tried out this year as compared to last year. So, more likely less people will be turned down.
Even though my singing wasn't great, my monologue went fine and dancing was......ehh... but I'm not too upset because I did give it my all. However I will be a little saddened if I still don't get a part even though I tried really hard. I practiced more than so many others. I also know if I looked a little different I would have better chances. (i.e. taller and more 'lead-esque') The only leads I could ever get are either old women leads or witches.
Or men.
Whatever.
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[10 Sep 2005|04:09pm] |
I just got back from handing out water. It was amazing. We just sat on a corner and handed free water to red-faced dehydrated individuals. Most were extremely grateful, but one young man was REALLY rude. Some college frat boy says:
"Pack that shit up, man. Fuckin' bullshit you're giving water to people here. Take this shit to new orleans and give it to the fuckin' needy. Idiots."
Needless to say this man was on his way to a football game, and carrying a six-pack of bud lite.
Meanwhile, we donated 10,000 cases of water to New Orleans, and spent OUR SATURDAY trying to put smiles on people's faces in the damned 100 degree weather! I wanted to slap him, but I didn't. Instead we smiled and said "Have a nice day, sir."
What I wanted to say: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING FOR NEW ORLEANS??? YOU BITCH PEOPLE OUT FOR TRYING TO HELP PEOPLE AND YOUR ON YOUR WAY TO SEE A DAMNED FOOTBALL GAME AND YOU SPENT 10 BUCKS ON BEER and 35 on TICKETS!!!!!!! IM PRETTY SURE NEW ORLEANS COULD HAVE USED THE 50 BUCKS YOU SPENT --- ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO GET DRUNK ASSHOLE WHILE WE BUST OUR ASSES FOR JERKS LIKE YOU!!!!!!"
It really pissed me off. I hate when people criticize when they aren't doing anything themselves. Sorry, I had to vent.
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[09 Sep 2005|11:26pm] |
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Tomorrow I'm going to the OU football game to hand out water. Why exactly? I'm not sure of myself. I guess we're trying to promote some website, or something. I pretty much agreed to go because I really wanted a shirt that said "Free Water" on it. I don't really know why, but it would be pretty tight.
The thing is, is I don't think we even get to go inside the game and watch it. We're spending the day standing outside saying to strangers "Care for a water, good sir?"
I told my mom about this plan and she looked at me with her eyebrows cocked and said "That's a little weird, Jill." but i said, "Mom, if you knew Brady, you would think this is normal."
I had an okay day today. For some reason my mind keeps floating back to 1st hour when we were playing charades and I had to act out "Robin Williams" and I acted like a bird. Everyone kept guessing Raven (Symone), and I kept telling them no. I was all "It's a bird name, but not Raven!" And I took up the whole 2 minutes trying to do it.
That's pretty much the one event I can remember vividly.
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[09 Sep 2005|09:12pm] |
Picture this:
A girl with a rather large bottom in sweat pants and a v-neck shirt - twirling and lifting her leg high off the ground (approx 4 inches) smiling, sweating and shaking her thing, all the the beat of "That Darn Hott" from a musical.
Yeah, that girl is me.
Not that I'm proud, but damn. It was a hard dance. Last year, I watched Ashley's dancing tryouts and it was a 15 seconds long dance without spinning moves or leg prancing etc etc.
This year, we got some girl fresh out of dancing school that decided to make us actually look like dancers. It was freaking hard. It was fast paced, and about 1 minute long (a dance to learn in about 20 minutes) IT WAS CRAZY. There were girls I know that are all "dancing is my life" and even THEY were completely lost.
I'm pretty sure i did the first 10 seconds perfectly, up until we had to do this sort of spin then kick in rapid succession. I am a little slow, but I did alright. I definetely wasn't the worst. They had call-backs today. I, of course, didn't get one. To be completely honest, the choir teacher is directing the musical, and casting. He is EXTREMELY biased. Pretty much, if he knew you and you were his 'pet' you are considered for a lead. Now, I'm not naming names, but if I casted last years Beauty and The Beast, I DEFINETELY wouldn't have casted a certain person for the lead. She was kind of a joke because everyone knew she didn't deserve that part, she only got it because she was the directors pet.
What? I'm not bitter.
Really. I'm not.
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[06 Sep 2005|07:26pm] |
Oh gosh. Today i had my audition. I wasn't as nervous as Andrea ans Ashley were. I practiced the song 2912382173987978 bilion times, and I had it down pretty well. But in the audition I definetely CRACKED super badly at one point. The rest was alright, but not impressive whatsoever. I'll be really upset if that ruined my chances.
My monologue was pretty good as well. I didn't mess up or break character at least. I was loud and articulate and sounded good. It wasn't very funny but they did laugh a little at one part. I was seriously hoping they would really like my monologue, but I don't think they did.
I don't want to sound like a sad little girl, because I do think I did alright. I just botched up the song. If they can overlook that, I think I'll be okay.
Thursday is dancing auditions.
Damn.
I'll have fun doing that.
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[05 Sep 2005|10:10pm] |
I can't believe it, I have yet to write about Katrina. The New Orleans Hurricaine. It's crazy; but yet it proves a point. People are obsessed with their own life. I mean, here's an event that has effected thousands, and yet I forgot to write about it. Something that will be down in history books, and I didn't write about it. I don't usually consider myself a shallow and selfish person, but I guess I kind of am.
There are things about this Hurricaine that I'm pissed about. The way it was originally handled, the way people are acting, things said.. etc etc. But I'm not going to go on about that because it's not important right now.
All I want to do right now is sleep.
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[05 Sep 2005|10:04pm] |
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"So in Love" - Kiss ME Kate |
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I read the novel Speak in the eighth grade, and I don't think I appreciated the amazing tone and symbolism. Then, at the end of ninth grade, I read it again, this time, admiring Melinda's sarcasm and truth of voice.
Lifetime made a movie of Speak. At first, I was like, damnit, why must Lifetime ruin all the books I love? But, I watched it tonight, and was blown away. It was AMAZING. It was honest, and true, and kept the exact tone of the book, with music and lighting. It was made just as I would have made it.
It made me understand just what Laurie Halse Anderson has originally intended us to understand. Sometimes, reading the book isn't enough. Sometimes, you have to have someone else analyze it and show you all the things you miss. It was just breathtaking.
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[05 Sep 2005|04:46pm] |
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I found this great website where you can make and run your own prom. It's really fun. Especially considering I'm on the prom committee for this year. It's kind of scary, because what if the student body doesn't like it? Too damn bad, I guess. But it's fun to practice!
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| jamie bell |
[03 Sep 2005|12:18pm] |
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Do you find it really wierd that people get possessive over celebrities? I do. But I'm guilty of doing it myself. Because I have been a fan of Jamie Bell's for over 6 years now, since I was like 10 or 11, I'm starting to feel possessive. Which is absurd because clearly, we have never met.
I mean, now that he's in the Green day video (and now that green day is more in the 'pop culture' of today) it's going to suck. Because I know he's going to get really popular one day. I don't want other girls running around screaming "I'm Jamie Bell's number one fan I love him we are getting married"
But, not for the SANE reasons. Not because it's unrealistic or untrue and annoying, but because I WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE SAYING IT.
Why???? Why do people do this?? I know it's totally selfish because I want him to have an amazing career because he IS AN AMAZING ACTOR!! But, for some reason I want to keep him all to myself.
I know I'm not the only one out there because I've known people to be a huge fan of unpopular people or bands, and when they get famous they get pissed off. I suppose I want the satisfaction of DISCOVERING him (but not really, because I know there are probably people out there who have liked him longer than I) So what do I want?
It really makes no sense, so why do it?
Because we're human, and humans are naturally jealous.
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[03 Sep 2005|11:57am] |
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I'm so nervous. I'm auditioning for the musical. I really shouldn't be nervous, because if worse comes to worse, I'll probably get at least a chorus part. But, I REALLY want to blow them away at my audition.
I still can't find a monologue. I really don't want to do the one I have but I guess I'll do it if I can't find any better. My singing is Okay. I mean, Kiss Me Kate. The music is.. interesting. Sort of has an opera-feel to it. I can't read music, so tonight I'm pretty sure I'm going over Ashley's so she can make sure I'm singing it correctly. A lot of the time the judges just make sure your singing is technically correct. I have more of a broadway-esque voice. It's strong, but I'm scared that if I sing it my broadway style, the traditionalist 'choir' judge won't like it. Also, with my voice, it's almost as if if I DON"T get a solo part than I won't nessessary 'fit in' with the sound of the choir.
I'm not toooooo worried, but I don't want to be cocky. My singing is 'good enough' but not 'mind-blowing'
I'm just going to have to practice like a crazy person for the next 3 days - and GET A COMEDIC MONOLOGUE!!!!
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[15 Aug 2005|03:35pm] |
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Oh, and damn Andrea for getting me obsessed with Roswell. Who knew??
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[15 Aug 2005|03:23pm] |
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I dear Lord help me. I'm becoming addicted to LJ again. Damn you, nazi communities!
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| original, original? |
[15 Aug 2005|10:37am] |
POST CONTAINS STEREOTYPICAL NONSENSE.
Has anyone else noticed that all the 'groups' in high school that claim to be oh, so original end up being the most confromed group? Take goths or emos, for example. When you say emo, you don't think of emotional children that want to make a difference in the world artistically and physically. You see kids that ALL LOOK THE SAME. They all have similar hairstyles. At least one un-natural color in their hair, at least one facial piercing, are bi-sexual, wear tight jeans and skater shoes, and those thick rimmed glasses.
I mean, at least the cheerleaders have different hairstyles.
When I first pictured emos, I pictured rebels. Kids that didn't want to fit into the norm. Didn't want to fit society's picture of them. But they've escalated into all being exactly the same. I can't tell them apart!
Honestly, who are more original, the preps or the emos?
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| gah whats wrong with yourselfffff |
[15 Aug 2005|01:00am] |
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
gggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
tomorrow I have to wake up at 7 am and sell t-shirts.
blast.
lately i've been wanting to read romantic comedies. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT WAS THE KOREAN NEIGHBORS ALL ALONG???????? I can.
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| losing people |
[15 Aug 2005|12:52am] |
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I don't know if I'm the one who has changed this past year or not. Soemtimes I think abou tthe past and wonder why I was such an idiot, but then I think of myself as being totally justified.
I've lost 3 friends this past year. One in particular I feel badly about sometimes, simply because I should have tried harder to make ammends, but then I think that they should have tried harder too.
The second one I miss. A lot. I don't know why I miss her. I couldn't stand her half of the time. But I think about her a lot. Because she worries me. The activities she does, the strangers she talks to, makes me worried. Just because you aren't friends with someone doesn't mean you don't care about them anymore.
The third was a shock. I can't believe we aren't friends anymore. I can't believe a lot of things that happened. I can't believe how she changed. I can't believe she didn't want to work out things. She turned into a person I don't even know anymore. It makes me sad. Because this teporary life that we're in, in two years, we won't be in hih school, in two years she won't be with the person she's with, in two years lots of things will be different. In two years, will I be there? Will I care anymore? I don't know.
Losing these people in my life has changed me. I don't really think I was true friends with any of them at times, but then once in a while I kick myself for being so cold. But it wasn't like I was unforgiving, no one wanted to be forgiven.
Sometimes, that's what hurts the most.
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| and so then i died |
[15 Aug 2005|12:30am] |
I'm so excited. I'm seeing Green day in concert for the first time ever! I've loved them since the 6th grade. Who knew? I'm so excited, because this will be the first time I'm at a concert ON THE FLOOR!! I'm sooo excited. Not just GD either, it's Jimmy Eat World too. They're a great band, even though I don't know much about them!! Who knows who else is opening for them? But anyways, this summer kind of has been a waste for me. I would have rather had like one week off and then headed back to school. Is that pathetic? I'd just rather get high school overwith, or at least junior year, so that I can finally be more independant.
I say I want to be more independant, but yet I'm 16, almost 17 in three months, don't have a license, car, or job. I really need to get my shit together. I really just need to do something. I'm so crazy sitting at home everyday. None of my friends want to just go random places with me. Like, as soon as I have my license and a job, I'll never be home. I'll be exploring Oklahoma and going to completely random places like the aquarium or Oklahoma's largest library, or drive up to Tulsa or somewhere I haven't been yet. I just want to get out in the world just to SEE things.
And then another part of me likes just hanging out alone. Sometimes I feel like I like my friends more then they like me. I feel like I always ask them out and over but I end up feeling like a pesty neighbor that won't go away. I like just hanging out with myself once in a while. But I miss just having one buddy to go everywhere with. I know I have a big group of loving best friends, but I really miss having that one best friend you talk to on the phon every night, or the one friend that you can just show up at their house to hang out. Or the one friend where you are totally comfortable around where you can just start talking about rotton cucumbers and they won't think any less of you.
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